The Patriarchs — Abraham, Isaac and Jacob

Abraham Goes to Egypt — 11:26-12:20

The first Hebrew was a man named Abraham who lived in the land of Ur, known today as Iraq. He had a wife, Sarah, who was his half-sister (20:12), and a nephew named Lot. Abraham’s father, Terah, led the family to the land of Canaan. On the way, he came first to Haran, a place far north of Canaan, where they settled. Terah died there at the age of 205 years.

Abraham had a revelation that God told him to continue on to Canaan where he will be the first to settle in the Promised Land. So Abraham left Haran for Canaan but he had to detour to Egypt for food because of a great famine. As he approached Egypt, he feared the Egyptians would kill him because his wife Sarah was beautiful. So they both agreed that Sarah would pose as his sister. When Pharaoh’s officials saw that Sarah was beautiful, the woman was taken into Pharaoh’s house. For this, Pharaoh made Abraham wealthy.

But God afflicted Pharaoh and his house with great plague because of Sarah. Pharaoh, realizing he was deceived, released Sarah and sent the two away.

Comment: Justice was turned on its head. Pharaoh was punished because Abraham lied and pimped his wife for profit. Terah lived to an impossible age of 205. Abraham was 75 at the beginning of the journey (12:4). Sarah was ten years younger (17:17). Try to imagine a 65 year old beautiful woman if you can.

Abraham Rescues Lot — 13:2-14-24

Abraham, Sarah and Lot moved to the Negeb, but the land could not support them both and they couldn’t get along. So they parted in different directions. Abraham went to Hebron in the land of Canaan, and Lot moved to Sodom, somewhere near the Dead Sea. At this time five kingdoms rebelled against the more powerful king, Chedorlaomer, and his three allied kingdoms. The kingdoms of Sodom and Gomorrah were involved in the rebellion and on the losing side. Lot was taken prisoner. Hearing this, Abraham pursued the enemy with his troops of 318 to the city of Dan. Abraham defeated the enemy and rescued his nephew Lot with his goods and the women and the people.” Abraham accepts the three of the rescued kings’ offer of one tenth of the booty. He accepted nothing from the kings of Sodom and Gomorrah.

Comment: The city of Dan did not exist until after the time of Moses. It wasn’t until Judges 18:27-29 when the barbaric Israelites destroyed the Gentile city of Laish and all its inhabitants, renaming it Dan for one of the tribal founders. This wasn’t a short span of time. Joseph fathered Isaac at 100, Isaac at 40 fathered Jacob, Jacob fathers the eponymous Dan and Joseph at maybe 30; from Joseph to Moses is 110 and from Moses to Joshua adds 127 years, and Joshua 110; from Gideon through Samson is uncertain. I estimate about 500 years after this event is said to have taken place. This is one of numerous anachronisms.

Abraham’s Covenant with God — 15 & 17

God made a covenant with Abraham to make him the ancestor of a multitude of great nations. From this covenant, a holy war was declared on all other religious faiths who occupied the land of Canaan. Abraham circumcised himself and every man in his household to mark the beginning of a tradition of God’s Covenant with his future descendents. The rite of circumcision was established for all descendents in honor of the Covenant.

Comment: The covenant was a declaration of holy war against all other faiths in the land that would become Israel.

Hagar and Ishmael — 16

Sarah could not have any children by Abraham. So she sent her Egyptian slave girl, Hagar, to Abraham to conceive a child. Abraham was 86 years old when Hagar became pregnant. Sarah became jealous at Hagar’s pregnancy and sent her away. In the wilderness, an angel went to Hagar to tell her to return to Abraham. She did and bore Abraham a son Ishmael.

Comment: The birth of Ishmael sets up an enemy of a different faith.

Sodom and Gomorrah —19:1-29

Lot greeted two angels appearing as men at the gateway to Sodom. At Lot’s insistence they agreed to stay the night at his house. Before the night began, the men of Sodom came to Lot’s door demanding to have sex with his guests. Lot offered his two virgin daughters to appease the crowd, but they weren’t interested. The crowd pressed against Lot with the intention of breaking the door down. The angels pulled Lot inside and struck the men nearby with blindness. The next morning the angels sent Lot with his wife and two daughters out of the city with the warning to not look back. As sulfur and fire were raining on the twin cities of Sodom and Gomorrah, Lot’s wife looked back and turned into a pillar of salt. Lot’s sons-in-law did not heed his warning to get out and died too. We would presume Lot lost all his possessions.

Comment: In Bible world, Sodomy can make you blind, humans can be transformed into salt and the innocent are punished with the guilty. Sections along the coast of the Dead Sea with pillars of salt were, no doubt, the source of writer inspiration.

Further reading: Sodom and Gomorrah

Lot and his Daughters — 19:30-36

Lot resettled in a cave with his two daughters. Alone in the wilderness without husbands, the daughters seeing that they had no man to carry on their father’s seed fed him wine and had sex with him on two successive nights while he was asleep. Both daughters succeed in bearing sons.

Comment: The biblical writers abhorred the practice of male intercourse but did not object to sex between father and daughter as long as the father is asleep. How a man can fornicate while he is drunk and asleep we would presume to be another miracle. If God didn’t destroy Lot’s wife, he could have had children by legitimate means. Because they were not descendents of Abraham, this was probably the writer’s intention.

Abraham Deceives Abimelech — 20:1-24

Abraham repeated the scam he played on pharaoh, this time with King Abimelech. Believing Abraham that Sarah is his sister, Abimelech takes old Sarah for a little play. Before Abimelech had the chance to have his fun, God came to him in a dream to tell him he is about to die for taking a married woman. Abimelech pleaded his case for his life that he was deceived and God agrees. Abimelech was a God fearing man, so he gave Sarah two livestock, two slaves, a 1000 pieces of silver and an offer to live anywhere they want. In anger over Sarah, God made Abimelech’s wives and female slaves sterile until God granted Abraham’s prayers to forgive Abimelech. The two made a covenant, promising to be fair and honest with each other.

Comment: Abraham and Sarah knew God would reward them for wrongdoing.

The Birth of Isaac — 21:1-6

At the impossible age of 90 years old for motherhood, Sarah gave birth to Isaac, and even nursed him; Abraham was 100.

Comment: God’s promised (17:15-16) she would have a son and be the mother of nations. This should be taken as a miracle birth.

Hagar and Ishmael Sent Away — 21:8-21

When Sarah saw Abraham’s son by Hagar, she asked Abraham to send the two away. Abraham was at first reluctant until God told him to do as his wife asked. So Abraham gave the two bread and water and sent them on their way. When they ran out of water, God showed them a well.

Comment: The descendents of Ishmael were to be preserved to make war necessary at the right time.

Abraham and Abimelech make a Treaty — 21:22-34

Abraham and Abimelech both swore to God not to deal with each other falsely. This treaty extended to their children and their descendents.

Comment: Isaac would break that treaty.

Abraham and Isaac — 22:1-18

One day, God told Abraham to burn Isaac as an offering on a local mountaintop. Like an obedient child, Abraham brought Isaac to the offering site, bound him and placed him on top of a pile of wood. Just when he is about to stab Isaac, God called him to stop. Because of his loyalty, God blesses him and his offspring.

Comment: The Church Fathers expected uncritical obedience from their votaries. As Jesus said in Matthew 7:1, “Judge not, that you be not judged,” one must suspend all moral judgment of anything the Church asks of him.

Further reading: Prophecy Christ's Temptation Abraham and Isaac

The Death of Sarah — 23

Sarah died at the age of 127 and was buried in a cave in which was later known as Hebron.

Isaac and Rebekah — 24

Abraham sent a servant to find a wife for his son Isaac. While watering his camels in the city of Nahor, he found Rebekah among the women that came there for water. As good fortune would have it, she turned out to be the daughter of Abraham’s nephew Bethuel. With that introduction, the servant lodged at her house with her family. When the servant made his pitch to her brother, Laban, and father, Bethuel, they agreed to let her go. Rebekah became Isaac’s wife.

Comment: Rebekah’s distant kinship to Isaac kept the bloodlines pure. Of course, women were not allowed to choose their husbands.

The Death of Abraham — 25:1-11

Abraham died at the age of 175, leaving everything to Isaac.

Jacob and Esau — 25:19-34

Rebekah gave birth to twins. Esau came out before Jacob, establishing him as the oldest son. Isaac loved wild game and Esau, but Rebekah loved Jacob. One day when Jacob was cooking stew, Esau came home dying of starvation. Jacob would not feed him until he gave up his birthright.

Comment: Either way, the ruthless Jacob couldn’t lose. Esau is said to have red hair (25:25). Esau would later become an Edomite, a word with the root meaning, red.

Isaac and Abimelech — 26

At the time of a famine, God sent Isaac to Abimelech, the king of the Philistines. When he arrived, Isaac told the Philistines that Rebekah is his sister. Fortunately, before she had a chance to sleep with other men, the king accidentally saw Isaac foundling Rebekah and realized she was his wife. When questioned, Isaac used the same excuse as his father, explaining to the king that he was afraid he would be killed because of Rebekah’s beauty. The king gave him land, promised to protect him, making Isaac very rich.

Comment: Abimelech had made a peace treaty with Abraham (21). Isaac was in no danger. Abimelech was set up. The story gives the sense that Isaac purposely started the rumor and fondled his wife in front of the king’s window because he knew the king would feel compelled to pay him off.

Jacob Gets Isaac’s Blessing — 27-28:1-9

When Isaac was old and his eyes were failing, he called for his oldest son Esau to hunt for some wild game to feed to him before he died. After overhearing the conversation, Rebekah told Jacob to bring some goats for her to prepare so that he, Jacob, could bring it to Isaac. What if Isaac touched him? How could he impersonate Esau when Esau was hairy and he wasn’t? Rebekah solved that problem by having Jacob wear Esau’s best suit and a pair of gloves. When Isaac touched Jacob, the gloves felt like hairy hands. When he hugged Jacob, the suit had Esau’s smell. So Isaac ate the stew and gave Jacob his blessing. Just after Jacob left, Esau came in with the game he cooked. After realizing he was duped and after Esau pleading for a second blessing, Isaac could not give his blessing twice. With his birthright and his blessing lost, Esau was so enraged, he wanted to kill Jacob. When word got to Rebekah, she sent Jacob to stay with her brother, Laban, until Esau cooled off.

At Rebekah’s insistence, Isaac commanded Jacob not to marry a Hittite or Canaanite woman and instead, take a wife among Laban’s daughters.

Comment: The story has a parallel to Cain and Abel. God told Rebekah in 25:23 that the two brothers are the descendents of two nations and that the older will serve the younger. What Esau also had going against him is that he had married two Hittite women (26:34-35). So we can presume that Rebekah had God’s permission to betray her husband. In 28:8, Esau married a Canaanite woman to spite his father.

Jacob’s Ladder — 28:10-22

On the way to visit his uncle Laban, Jacob stopped for the night when the sun set. In his sleep, he dreamed of a stairway reaching from earth to heaven. Angels were descending and ascending, and God was at the top. God told him he would watch over him and give his descendents the land upon which he was lying. When he awoke, he made a pillar of stones and poured oil on it. He named the place Bethel.

Comment: The pillar of stones was a phallic symbol.

Jacob Marries Leah and Rachel — 29

When he was near Haran, Jacob saw a well with three flocks of sheep gathered nearby. The well was covered by a rock so large that it took many shepherds to uncover the well and cover it back over when they were done. While Jacob was acquainting himself with the shepherds, they were waiting for more shepherds to help move the rock. When Rachel came with her father’s sheep, the sight of her gave Jacob a fit of Samson-like strength; he moved the rock himself. It was love at first sight for both of them. After he helped her water the sheep, Jacob explained to Rachel that Laban was his uncle. When Laban met them and heard the news, he warmly accepted Jacob as a guest in his house.

Laban had an older daughter Leah, who is said to have had lovely eyes, but Rachel was graceful and beautiful. Jacob wanted Rachel; so Laban accepted his offer to work seven years for her. At the end of seven years they had a feast to celebrate the occasion. That evening when it was dark, instead of Rachel, Laban gave Leah to Jacob. They had intercourse that evening but it wasn’t until the light of morning that Jacob saw it was Leah. “Why have you deceived me,” asked Jacob? “Because we don’t give the younger before the firstborn,” said Laban. “Complete one week with Leah and you can have Rachel, if you work for me for another seven years.” So Jacob completed the week with Leah and worked seven years for Rachel.

Comment: We have to suspend thought that Jacob could not tell the difference by sound and touch.

Jacob’s Children — 29:31- 30:24

Though Jacob loved Rachel and was not attracted to Leah, he did not ignore her. Leah conceived four sons in a row: Reuben, Simeon, Levi and Judah. Frustrated that Leah had four sons and she had none, Rachel gave Jacob her servant, Bilhah as a surrogate. Bilhah had two sons, Dan and Naphtali. This time Leah stopped producing and became jealous. So Leah gave Jacob her maid, Zilpah, as a surrogate. Zilpah had two sons: Gad and Asher.

Jacob was ignoring Leah for a long time in favor of Rachel. One day Reuben found some mandrakes in the field and brought them to help his mother, Leah. When Rachel pleaded for the mandrakes, they agreed that Leah would give Rachel in return for a night with Jacob. Leah’s fertility came back and she had a fifth son, Issachar then a sixth son, Zebulun and finally a daughter, Dinah. Lastly, Rachel produced a son, Joseph. Within seven years Jacob fathered eleven sons and one daughter.

Comment: The children came sequentially, so seven years would have been impossible. At a minimum of nine months apart, it would take nine years. Mandrakes have a branched root that resembles the human body. The roots produced a tomato shaped fruit — another symbol. Thus they believed mandrakes had aphrodisiac and fertility powers. Accordingly, the mandrakes are said to have worked their magic for Leah even though she gave them to Rachel.

Jacob Deceives Laban — 30:25-43

After Rachel gave birth to Joseph, Jacob had fulfilled his obligation to Laban and wanted to leave with his family. Laban, realizing he had gotten wealthy during the fourteen years Jacob was with him, asked Jacob if there was some way he could pay him back. “Pay me nothing,” said Jacob. “Instead I will take care of your flock for you after you weed out every one of your dark sheep and spotted or speckled goats. The rejected animals shall be my wages. You can always test my honesty by inspecting the animals in my possession.” Laban agreed. So he separated the defective animals and gave them to his sons for collateral while Jacob took care of the healthy flock. Laban moved three days away from Jacob.

Over the years while Jacob was tending Laban’s flock, he planted wooden rods in front of the watering troughs where the animals frequented; the rods had stripes of exposed wood and bark. The sight of the rods when the goats mated had the effect of producing streaked, speckled and spotted kids. He crossbred Laban’s sheep by keeping them within visual distance of the defective goats. Jacob kept two flocks, making sure that the hardier animals mated in the presence of the rods, but the weaker animals were not exposed. “The feebler were Laban’s, and the stronger Jacob’s” (30:42). By this process, Jacob accumulated large flocks and became prosperous.

Comment: The definition of health was based on color purity and not actual physical health. This is a case of biblical genetics. They believed that whenever goats mated in sight of striped rods, they would produce multicolored offspring and that the sheep could be altered by visually crossbreeding them with the goats. Goats and sheep do not normally develop spots, speckles and stripes. Yet, according to these verses, the technique actually reversed the ratio. Such an occurrence was not a miracle; it was a superstition.

According to 31:41, Jacob pursued this strategy for six years. Laban is said to live three days away from Jacob, implying he was too far away to have any contact with Jacob. We are not told when Laban discovered the scheme, but the story in the next chapter says it was late. We are not told how Laban was able to support himself for six years without his herd.

The agreement called for Jacob to accept payment with defective animals and for Laban to inspect his flock occasionally to verify Jacob’s honesty. The story would have you believe that Laban accepted delivery without ever inspecting his flock.

We can dispense with any thoughts that the story is reasonably plausible. But we can take with us the impression that Jacob screwed his uncle.

Jacob Flees — 31

Jacob heard that Laban’s sons were talking about his scheme and he noticed that Laban was getting unfriendly. Then a revelation came upon him to get out quick and go to his father Isaac. To justify his exodus to his wives, he showed them his flock. “See,” he says “I worked hard for your father but he cheated me and changed my wages ten times. The last time he made me accept speckled and striped animals as wages. But God took the livestock away from him by making all the livestock mottled. God has told me that I must return to my birthplace.” His wives decided that Laban had cheated them also.

So the next day Jacob left with all the livestock and property he gained. While Laban was away getting his sheep sheared, Rachel stole her father’s household gods. By the time Laban knew what had happened, Jacob and his family had a three-day head start. It took seven days for Laban and the remainder of his family to catch up to Jacob in the hill country of Gilead.

Said Laban, “What have you done? Why did you flee secretly and not permit me to kiss my sons and daughters farewell? I have no intention of harming you. I would have sent you away with joy and music. And why did you steal my gods?” Answered Jacob, “Because I was afraid you would take your daughters away from me by force. You may look for you gods, but nothing I have taken is yours.”

So Laban went into all the tents to look for his gods. But Rachel sat on her camel’s saddle where she kept them hidden. Jacob did not know about the theft. After Laban’s search was over, Jacob scolded him, reminding him about all the sacrifices he made. “It was like this for the twenty years I was in your household. I worked for you fourteen years for your two daughters and six years for your flocks, and you changed my wages ten times (31:41). If you did not fear my God you would have sent me away empty-handed.” The two made peace and parted amicably.

Comment: Jacob lied to his wives to set them against their father. He told them that Laban imposed the wages of discolored animals when it was his idea. He blamed God for making the rare discolored animals become populous when it was he himself who stimulated the change.

What is Laban doing with these false idols? Why does Rachel value them so highly that she would steal them, unbeknown to Jacob, and keep them hidden for herself? If she was trying to stop her father from worshipping false idols, she was supposed to destroy them. No! The wife of Jacob and the mother of Joseph was an idol worshipper. We can’t say that God didn’t know about it, otherwise it wouldn’t be in scripture. What we do know is that God did not punish her. Such is the benefit of royalty.

Let us conclude that no one in this family is honorable. Laban deceived Jacob into an additional seven years of labor. Leah deceived Jacob into marriage. Jacob stole his brother’s birthright and blessing, and he stole Laban’s flocks. Rachel stole her father’s idols. Laban and Rachel worshipped other gods without Jacob’s knowledge. This is the legacy of Israel’s Patriarchs. God’s chosen!?

Jacob Meets Esau — 32:1-21, 33

Jacob sent messengers to tell Esau he was interested in making peace. Esau returned the message that he was willing to come to meet Jacob, but he was coming with 400 men. Jacob feared he would be attacked. Hoping to soften Esau up, he sent messengers ahead with generous gifts. When they finally did meet within eyesight, the uneasy Jacob bowed seven times. Esau ran to Jacob and embraced him. It turned out that Esau didn’t accept Jacob’s gifts because he was prosperous on his own. Then they each went on their own way.

Comment: Esau’s descendants were not to live in the Promised Land, but north of it in an area known as Edom. It goes through, I don’t know how many generations of descendants of Esau. Esau’s first two Hittite wives, when he was age forty, were Judith daughter of Beeri and Basemath daughter of Elon (26:34); later he married a Jewess, Mahalath daughter of Ishmael (28:8). In 36:2-3, Basemath is the Jewess daughter of Ishmael; he has a Hittite wife, Adah daughter of Elon and a Hivite wife, Oholibamah daughter of Anah. Hivites are distinguishably different from Hittites. Perhaps I nit-pick, but these are the kinds of mistakes I see when people make alterations to documents they know nothing about. The book of Genesis has many unknown writers; which brings me to another forgery.

After this boring list of descendants, it concludes in 36:31, “These are the kings who reigned in the land of Edom, before any king reigned over the Israelites. What king? Israelite kings did not exist during the time of Moses, the reputed author of Genesis. The term “any king” implies more than one king, which would take the insertion to be made from the second king, David. The expression could also mean to the last king. It you turn to 1 Chronicles 1:43, you will find the exact wording, with a different genealogy. There had to be at least 700 years between when this story was written and when it is supposed to have taken place.

Another suspicious coincidence is that the names Edom and Esau relate to the color red. Esau had red hair and Edom is noted for its red sandstone terrain. /p>

Jacob Wrestles With God — 32:22-32

Jacob wrestled with a man till daybreak. When the man saw he could not beat Jacob, he struck him on the hip socket, causing a permanent limp. But Jacob would still not let the man go until the man blessed him. To honor the occasion, the man renamed him “Israel” and blessed him, and Jacob let him go. Jacob said, “For I have seen God face to face, and yet my life is preserved.”

Comment: The unseen God made himself visible. Jesus?

Dinah’s Rape and Revenge — 33:18 — 34

Jacob once settled in the city of Shechem in Canaan, where a young man named Shechem raped his daughter Dinah. Shechem wanted to marry Dinah; so his father, Hamor, offered to buy her as a wife for his son. The price, according to Jacob’s sons, Simeon and Levi, was for each male in Shechem to be circumcised. Hamor was delighted to have Jacob’s family unite with his family, so he and all the men in Shechem agreed to circumcise themselves. Simeon and Levi had no intention of giving up their sister to the man who had raped her; they were angry for revenge. While the men of Shechem were still in pain from the circumcision, Simeon and Levi sneaked into the city with their swords and killed all the males including Hamor and Shechem. Jacob’s other sons followed behind and stole anything of value in the city and of the women and children they “captured and made their prey.”

Jacob was not angry with his sons for their deceit and their treachery. Rather he was disturbed that other Canaanites might take revenge on him. The always helpful God told Jacob to leave the area. “As they journeyed, a terror from God fell upon the cities all around them, so that no one pursued them.”

Comment: According to Genesis 22:16-17, if a man rapes a virgin who is not engaged to be married, he is obligated to marry her. But if her father refuses to give her up for nothing, the man must pay whatever the market value is for virgins. Jacob did not refuse to marry his daughter, rather the sons took matters I in their own hands. Furthermore, to this God, it did not matter that the men of Shechem intended good will who even went to the trouble to circumcised themselves to prove it; what mattered was that they weren’t among God’s chosen. In which case, deceit, murder, rape and plunder are justified.

What about Dinah’s age? We know that during the seven years Jacob had to work to pay for Rachel, Leah produced seven children; so they had to be spaced about a year apart. Simeon was born in the second year, Levi in the third and Dinah in the seventh. We know that Jacob worked for another six years breeding goats and sheep. Jacob was in a hurry to return to his homeland, so let’s add another year for slow travel. What it adds up to is that Dinah was seven when she was raped. Simeon and Levi were twelve and eleven respectively when they are said to have slaughtered the males of Schechem. It’s interesting how often and how many ways the number seven comes up.

The Legacy of the Twelve Tribes of Israel — 35

God told Jacob to return to Bethel and make a home there. Jacob told his family and followers to get rid of foreign gods and he will build an altar to God. They all consented. Wherever they traveled in Canaan, God terrified the people so they would not bother Jacob and his following. God repeated his promise to give the land of Canaan to him and his descendants. Isaac and Jacob’s wife Rachel died.

Now that Jacob and his family have proven to God that they are capable of killing in his name, God honors Jacob by renaming him Israel. Rachel has another son by Jacob whose name is Benjamin. (Remember, the blood lines of women don’t count) The other sons’ names are Reuben, Simeon, Levi, Judah, Issachar, Zebulun, Joseph, Dan, Naphtali, Gad and Asher. Each is the namesake of an Israelite tribe.

Comment: What Jacob and his family have also proven to God is that they have the sexual appetites of rabbits. In 35:22, Reuben has sex with Bilhah, Rachel’s maid and the mother of two of his half brothers. Leviticus 18:6 forbids seeing the nakedness of anyone near of kin. Leviticus 20:11 condemns both to death if a man sleeps with his father’s wife; by God’s law, the incident qualifies as incestuous; Reuben and Bilhah should be put to death but aren’t. Some apologists might argue that the laws haven’t been presented yet so they are not in effect. My argument is that if this God can’t choose people who have a natural inclination to live up to his standards then the real God could not have influenced the writing of the Bible.

And thirdly, God’s most righteous family will lie and steal for personal gain. Modern Jews blame sin on their fall. This God would have to be a bad designer if Adam and Eve did not perform as expected, and a bad judge of character when he picked Abraham and his descendents. Let’s stop blaming the human race for a change and put responsibility where it belongs: the biblical God. We are what he made us. It is just that we are not what the zealots who wrote the Bible want us to be.

Esau’s Family — 36

Jacob’s brother Esau was the ancestor of the Edomites. He had three Canaanite wives who bore him a large family.

Comment: the point of Esau’s rivalry with Jacob was to justify the existence of an enemy tribe not associated with the God of Jacob.